my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
