I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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