I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
