he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
