I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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