3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
