I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
