I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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