There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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