it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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