Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
