we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
