Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
