When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
