I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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