why do cheetos always look like penises
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
