Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
