Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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