Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
