She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
