i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Someone came in the potted fern
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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