shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
