How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Couch. On fire.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
