its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize