yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
