i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize