The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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