just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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