She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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