On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
