90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will be naked everywhere
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
