I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
