maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
