we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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