it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
