Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
