Barsexuality is the new black.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
