I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
