turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
