I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
