She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
