i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
