I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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