I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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