great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize