Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
