I'm passing your future prison.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize