? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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