All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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