Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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