I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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