They should really pass out barf bags in church
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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