it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
