Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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