Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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