Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
