Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize