Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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