Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
