So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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