i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
